I am J, I have one son, T who is adopted. My sister is his first mom/birth mom, whatever it is you find PC to call her, she is my sister and I love her. I have been reading a lot of adoption blogs lately, maybe trying to gain perspective, trying to see what it is like for everyone involved. My situation may be a little different, and maybe my sister's situation is a little different too, she placed our son with me to raise and I know she must think about that decision all the time.
I will tell the whole story in upcoming posts, I want to get some things out there from what I have read and seen and how I feel. I do want to say, my sister is very much still in my life and in T's life. We go out together, we went to an amusement park that was having a winter light's display and sledding and all kinds of fun stuff this weekend. It was me, my sis (A), her older son (J) and my son (T). A has taken T overnight and out and about without me. He is will be 5 this coming month. I like that he gets to spend time with her and her son, it is important to me. J is 12 and a great big brother. He has always been very close to me, when he was little he pretty much lived with me and I will always treasure him.
I guess I should also say that my son's birth father has nothing to do with us at all, not me and definitely not my sister. I won't call him a first father and would say he is not even worthy to have father in his title. And you may think that harsh or mean or that I am not being fair but rest assured when you hear our story, you will understand. My poor sister will never be the same because of him and I have no idea how I will ever be able to tell my son about him even though I know I will have to one day.
I want to address PC terms and the way I write and what I have to say. If you don't like it, please don't read it. I love my sister, she knows this, she loves me, she loves my son, she calls him my son, her nephew, he knows he is adopted, he knows in very 4 year old terms what adoption means, he is free to ask questions, he will always be free to talk to me, my sister, or my nephew J about it. The terms I use are ones that my sister and I use when we talk, so I don't mean to offend anyone with them, and if you are offended I am sorry, they are not meant to be derragotory. It was hard to have the best day of my life be the very worst of my sister's, I don't take that lightly, I love my sis, seeing her hurt was very hard for me.
Anyway, more to come.....
PS. If I am following your blog, I hope its okay, I likely have read it and it has helped me understand a little more, I am looking for perspective, I am looking to help my son as he grows.
8 months ago
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